Mom-capades: Shangie

Shannon & Angie talk about their lives in mommy-hood

I’m tired…it’s been a long day…

Posted by shangie on September 14, 2007

Today was a long day for us.  Spent yesterday at the Dr.’s office.  He was in a lot of pain.  He had to have surgery this morning.  Having great difficulty with his stone.  Was larger than expected and unpassable without intervention.  Planned on lithotripsy but was unsuccessful.  Ended up having to go in manually and laser it down.  It was difficult and stubborn but relented finally!  He had to have a stent put in and is suffering the repurcussions of it.  It will be removed next Thursday.  I think as the drugs wear off, he will become very uncomfortable.  We are going through a lot of emotions right now.  Old and new.  I had the most horrible dream last night.  This man, person, thing, monster…whatever you want to call it was tracking me.  It was relentless and I knew in my heart that I was doomed.  There was nowhere to hide and I remember trying to find refuge in this abandoned building/house.  It was dark and raining outside with a small light from an electric pole cascading light through the windows.  It was quiet but for the rain and I was trying to hide.  In my mind, I kept thinking who will save me, no one knows he and I are here…that he is tracking me.  I was very much alone.  And I ended up in this basement with these small rectangular windows at the top of the walls.  Light was seeping through the screens and I desperately tried to crawl my way out but quietly.  That is where I knew I died.  Later, my body or soul floated above as I watched the police find my body.  And then just as suddenly, the scene switches to this woman in a truck.  She was nice I could tell.  She was dropping off a friend and once again I realize my soul is floating and I feel a sense of heavy dread.  It was one of those extra cab type trucks that she was driving.  Visually, I was focusing on her face but then it panned to the back of the cab and there was this really large black back.  The kind that coaches use to carry those large loads of sports equipement…soccer balls, footballs, etc.  And I knew all of a sudden he was in there…waiting for the opportunity…and then I saw the bag moving as he quietly snuck out and my mind panned back to her.  She was totally unaware.  The dream went on and on.  Visually, I could relate minute details.  Tree colors, how many cars she drove past.  It was a double lane road.  It was bizarre and terribly frightening.  It was a massively tremendous relief to hear the alarm go off this morning.  I really tried to sit and think what it all meant.  I kinda wonder if the man/monster represented stones.  Because in my mind that’s what it is like.  And the woman in the truck was really Bryan maybe?  Innocent and kind…unsuspecting.  I know my feelings of grief, worry, sadness were similiar when comparing her fate and his impending surgery.  I don’t know…it’s all too much to think about to hard really.  I’m really beyond exhaustion and rambling aimlessly.  It’s just after midnight and I’ve got dirty laundry up to my ears and am trying to do a few loads before I lay my head down.

 How is Olivia adjusting to the brace?  Has your father decided upon his prostate options?  My girlfriends mom is going through radical chemo this week.  I pray she is strong enough to get through it. 

It is finally raining here.  So badly needed.  I just want to go stand in it and take it in.  Obviously I am not going to though.

I’ll end here.  Goodnight.



4 Responses to “I’m tired…it’s been a long day…”

  1. shangie said

    I’m speechless. I don’t know what to say. Yes, I agree your horrifying dream definately represents something. But what. I remember one time, I found a dream interpretation website and I sent in a message about a recurring dream I was having. The woman emailed me back with her interpetation and I believe she was correct. I see if I can find the site.

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